8.28.2005

My new best friend, Magical Musical Thing

Okay, so, last night I received a random Myspace message. Usually I don't respond to such things, but this was particularly intriguing. The following conversation took place over the course of the evening, and I'm proud to say I spent a considerable amount of time e-mailing a supposed inanimate object. The beginning of the chat is way down at the bottom. Enjoy.

Dear pollyannacowgirl, Never worry or despair. You seem to be coming from a negative point of view when you think something is "wrong" with you. This preconceived dark shadow will hover over you no matter what zapping all your energy. I've never known the JAMS to come a knockin at your door and ask for a cup of the JAMS. Like I say, don't fret....the JAMS got your back forever! Your guide, Madge-ical mu-sikle Thang!

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: pollyannacowgirl Date: Aug 27, 2005 11:17 AM

Dear Magical, I'm kind of worried. I waited all night last night for the JAMS, but they never came. Is there something wrong with me? Concerned, Polly

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang Date: Aug 26, 2005 11:14 PM Dear pollyannacowgirl, That's the spirit! The human heart pulses with electricity as do I! Your Guide, Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang!

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: pollyannacowgirl Date: Aug 26, 2005 11:12 PM Dear Magical, Thank you. I never dreamed that the possibility of something this powerful would enter my life tonight, and I remain here, ready and willing to accept the JAMS into my heart. -Polly

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang Date: Aug 26, 2005 11:07 PM Dear pollyannacowgirl, Please believe you haven't offended the JAMS. In fact, if the truth be told...the JAMS are beyond social etiquette. However, I needed to make sure that you would do right by them once they appeared. Remember that the JAMS don't follow a schedule and no appointments are needed. You asked and you shall receive. Very simple......................... Your Guide, Madge....

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: pollyannacowgirl Date: Aug 26, 2005 10:52 PM Dear M.M. Thang, I apologize for the rude manner of my request. It was a mistake to be so needy, and I guarantee, this is not the first time I have suffered consequences when "demanding." However, now that I've been shamed a little, I'm even more ready for the JAMS. In fact, I'm really looking forward to the JAMS, whenever they may happen to enter my life. Humbly yours, Polly

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang Date: Aug 26, 2005 10:01 PM Dear pollyannacowgirl, First of all, you cannot make "demands" of the JAMS. You got to be humble and simply ask for their presence. They like courteous introductions. However, after these initial formalities you better get prepared for a JAM deluge....for REAL! Your guide, Madge...

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: pollyannacowgirl Date: Aug 26, 2005 9:57 PM Dear Magical, I am familiar with what you have to offer, and I demand the jams, a steady, unwavering stream of them. Most sincerely, Polly

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang Date: Aug 26, 2005 9:29 PM Dear pollyannacowgirl, Perhaps you remember me or my Mattel clones? If not, best believe that I got heart like no other. Are you ready to receive the JAMS? Your instrumental guide, Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang!

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: pollyannacowgirl Date: Aug 26, 2005 9:25 PM thanks a mil, magical. hearing from you was just what i needed tonight! --polly --

--------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang Date: Aug 26, 2005 9:05 PM Dear pollyannacowgirl, I looked into my crystal JAM and it said you're in need of instrumental guidance. Your friend, Madge-ical Mu-sikle Thang!

3 comments:

Tara said...

My Poor Polly....Hey girl, I'm afraid to be the bearer of bads news but the name should have given it away...Magical Musical Thang. You know, it's like those damn girley boxes you get when your young. You open it to find a little ballerina in a tutu with a spring at her feet going 'round and 'round while that eerie horror movie music box music places and you stare just waiting...waiting...waiting for, I don't know maybe a genie to pop out of the ballerina's ass to grant you a wish or two. But it never happens. After a while you get bored and shut the box. Same situation here. M.M. Thang is simply the JAMS a JackAssMakingSmalltalk. That is until you get tired of waiting and "shut the box". At which point you'll be over your xenaphobia and you'll think it was the JAMS that cured you when indeed it was just lapsed time. Which is all you need....Time! Not JAMS nor a genie. and remember this is all coming from Cynical T so it is very possible that some JAMS may show. And if they do, slap 'em on some toast and get your grub on!!!

Derek said...

OMG! That is the tightest shit I've ever heard!!

sue said...

who else do we know that uses "JAMS" on a regular basis? i think i know who this is!!!