THROW PEANUT SHELLS ON FLOOR

My parents were traveling in LA this weekend and yesterday they had lunch at the site of their very first date, Clearman's North Woods Inn. Sometimes I wonder where my love of totally fake places comes from, and then I remember that I did do a good bit of growing up in the Los Angeles area, where fake is a lifestyle.

Anyway, North Woods is a totally fake lodge in the middle of a strip mall. As a child, the greatest novelty was getting to toss peanut shells on the floor, but now I'd like to get my hands on some of that fatty food. I haven't eaten there in years, but their classic steakhouse menu is unforgettable, especially if you like obscene portions and bread smeared with a magical cheese/butter combination (sometimes available at the grocery store!).

My memories of North Woods are also entwined with those of my grandmother, who lived nearby in Arcadia. This is where we'd often go out to dinner for a special occasion. Good times! My mom said that nothing had changed except for the huge Kohl's now next door, and the size of the potatoes (smaller). I'm glad my parents first got to know each other in a dimly-lit kitsch cavern. North Woods is definitely on my short list of buildings I will not allow to be destroyed, even if they continue to offer the cheese spread at Safeway.

photos by the Burger Baroness