I was in line at the drugstore today when I noticed that a clearly inebriated older man was swaggering my way, mumbling and singing. Because the world is constantly bestowing gifts and blessings upon me, the gentleman got in line behind me and proceeded to stand very close. His hot boozy breath on my neck was one thing, but the words coming out of his mouth were quite another. "You gotta squeeze a little, tease a little, squeeze a little more, yeah-uh!" Did I know this song?

I put the little divider thingy down and he placed his beverage on the belt, exclaiming, "Hey, thanks, that sure was cold! Hoowee!" I nodded and craned my neck slightly to see what he plunked down: a tall can of Steel Reserve. Nice choice, sir.

"Squeeze a little, tease a little, please a little more, yeah-UH!" This was getting a little uncomfortable, as picturing this guy squeezing, teasing, or pleasing anyone was a very unsavory fantasy.

Here comes the kicker. As he bellowed out, "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME! POUR SOME SUGAR ON MEEEEE," I realized that was what he had been singing the whole time! I never knew the lyrics to that song before today.


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