Guys, I think I have a problem. No, it's not my inability to get hired at ANY job, including a dirty used bookstore that houses a constantly squawking parakeet, or the fact that I live with my parents, OR the fact that I just spent 2 hours at the Social Security office because I lost my Social Security card AGAIN.

No, this problem is much more serious.

I think I'm in love with John Mayer. John Mayer, one of the most embarassing adult contemporary/teen heartthrob musicians ever. His music is a crime, but I just saw this special on VHI, during which I learned that John Mayer is the funniest and most charming person I've ever seen. His wit is unequaled! What is wrong with me? I love John Mayer, the man whose big hit is called "My Body is a Wonderland."

This is way worse than my attraction to Don Knotts.


Anonymous said...

Body. Your BODY is a wonderland. Geeez. And you claim to love him. You are not worthy of JM. I wrote a tribute song to JM called Pudding Factory.

Derek said...

anonymous is stupid. Speaking of yoor loves I re-watched Trouble in Paradise this morning, and thought about your love foe Edward Everett Horton. Now that's LOVE!

jordananne said...

Polz, I too have just discovered the love that is JM!! I had Ilse burn me a disk and she made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone who I got it from. She needs to just come out of the closet and admit the love.