I'm lucky enough to live about one minute away from the Kennedy Club Fitness Multiplex, this crazy gym that's straight out of the OC. Of course, it's the only gym I've ever dared to set foot in, so maybe all gyms look so nice. I don't think so, though.

I try to swim three times a week. I'm not very good at it, but my Speedo brand bathing suit makes me look like I know what I'm doing. If I had a swimming cap, people would probably start thinking I'm an Olympic athlete. Mostly I just putter around with a kickboard and try not to make eye contact with anyone, especially the creepy man who once shamelessly stole my towel, and his three creepy children. I overheard one of them in the spa saying, "He told me he loved me, but he's just a player." This girl was no more than twelve.

That reminds me. In the Kennedy Club Fitness Multiplex Olympic-sized pool, people are always trying to pass off weird sexy games as lap swimming. Especially teenagers. What, you think I don't notice your hanky panky? I am wearing goggles. Gross. Save it for the hot tub; at least there are bubbles to mask your underwater gropings.

Groping. That reminds me. Ever since I started talking about what will now be referred to as "DH" (a clothed activity not unrelated to groping), this site has been popping up on some unsavory searches. I guess I'd better watch my language.


ted d. said...

I love it that DH is your new search term that brings attention to your site.

I haven't had any good ones recently.

I will say about gyms 1) The YMCA, Metro Family, in Portland Oregon is absolutely not OC and is dirty 2) There was to be no groping or DH seen in the pool when I was trying to learn the crawl. 3) There was definately some inappropriate cruising in the steam room (I stuck to the dry sauna)

Crystal said...

Pols, I just wanted you to know that I used your example of the 12 year old and her talk of love/players today to amuse a crowd in my salon. good times!