What the hell is wrong with you?!

I am still fighting my worst bout of depression yet. It is remarkable how shitty I have been feeling. And I'm not saying that to garner pity or sympathy, it's just really, really weird. I've never experienced anything like this. Yes, steps have been taken to remedy this situation, but there is no magical immediate fix.

It's impossible to explain what's wrong with me to other people. I feel like a teenager-"Oh, you couldn't possibly understand." But for real; I try to state my situation and it comes out something like this: "Uh, well, it's like, I'm tired but not tired, and, like, I can't enjoy things the way I used to, you know...yeah." It just sounds like a retarded Zoloft commercial, and I end up just seeming lazy. My main symptom is wanting to spend all of my time doing what this retired Playmobil gentleman is doing: sitting around, reading, and napping. I know what I'm supposed to do, I just can't seem to do it.

To my credit, I am still managing to function, albeit on the most basic of levels. I want to feel better soon. Maybe when it stops raining. And I have a good story about how I paid off all my parking tickets, all at one time...get ready.

1 comment:

Miriam said...

My poor friend! I've been there, too, for sure, and I know how hard it is to pull yourself out of it. Time and distraction seem to be the only things that've worked for me. And being really, really gentle and patient with yourself, and knowing you have people pulling for you. Like me!