ENNUI ATTACK.

I miss Portland. The other night, I was walking towards my car, and as I approached, I noticed that there appeared to be a dead or comatose body right next to my passenger door. As I got closer, I noticed that to the left of the unconscious person were two guys huddled together, smoking crack. I nodded at them to say, "Please don't kill me, just keep on doing what you're doing," and got into my car.

I'd like to say that I'm totally jaded and this is just one of those kooky things about the city that I shrug off, but I HATE IT. It's so sad and scary and depressing to me. It's not even that I don't feel safe, although of course I don't feel safe. I just feel yucky. Is it wrong to want to be somewhere more pleasant? I've heard people from other cities say that San Francisco has a desperation that just isn't seen other places, even in New York. Maybe it's that I live in such a bad neighborhood, but my rent just went up $40 and we got 54 responses to our new roommate posting on Craigslist.

I can never figure out what it is that makes me want to leave places. I've never regretted moving anywhere, but as I get the itch again, I want to know why I want to go, and if location is really the issue.