I've been reading the journals of Sylvia Plath this week, and one thing I've been reminded of is that when you're a depressed person, it doesn't matter how much great stuff you do or how many goals you meet; you're still going to be disappointed in yourself. It's a constant battle to remember to be proud and excited about things!
I spend a lot more time thinking about negative stuff, i.e. not finding a job yet, money problems, not writing enough, not making enough stuff, not exercising; than all the good things in my life: great relationship, nice apartment, Etsy success, getting an MFA, and giving up an organ, for Pete's sake. It takes a lot of work to be happy, which is something I've learned in the past few years. It has nothing to do with your quality of life, but the way you approach it.
Proven activities that keep me from wallowing in self-pity and 14-hour naps:
1. Being actively creative.
2. Going outside/exercising.
3. Having a full schedule.
4. Having fun little things to look forward to. This is one of the reasons I love doing theater so much; there's always an opening night or another performance to think about.
Honestly, that's about all I need. Unfortunately, making all those things happen concurrently is a challenge. I like to look back at the spring of 2005 as a golden age of mental health for me; I was working, doing community theater, swimming every day, and had the wonderful specter of grad school ahead of me.
All that said, here's a list of things I hope to do in 2008.
1. Apply for writers' residencies/submit work to magazines.
2. Start swimming at Temescal Pool. (I have a fear of swimming in big cities ever since I swam in Portland and ran into a really mean lady doing the backstroke.)
3. Read more.
4. Declare my Etsy shop to the tax people as a real live business, and start treating said business
as a real live business.
5. Get into a writing routine and actually go to my writer's group.
6. No hatin'! On self or others. :)
Do you have any goals for this year? What do you do to be a "happy person?"
2 comments:
I am seriously trying to redefine what I think of as failure. Seriously.
Hey, I just discovered your work on etsy--I think your sense of whimsy is great! Although now, at 45 and big as a house, I'm not sure how much I could actually pull off to wear, but I hope to purchase some anyway...Clearly you are very creative, so I urge you to keep busy, try to work your mind around that business stuff, and do exercise (wish I could--I KNOW easier said than done!) But really, I think you can have a great future ahead...believe..in you!
An NYC
fan
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