Sad Boy

I love Patton Oswalt. In my old age, David Cross has just gotten too mean and crotchety for me in his stand-up; Patton is just as negative, but he's still so huggable! This bit about depression is the most perfect thing ever.

Susie Sad Eyes

Susie Slicker, originally uploaded by ggmossgirl.

I'm a Susie Sad Eyes today. Actually, if there was a doll modeled after my look today, it would be called Polly Old Tired Eyes.

I noted to a co-worker who gave me the classic "You look tired" line (yes) that after a point, I'd rather wear no makeup than go crazy with the yellow concealer . That's how I'm rolling today.

Right now all I want to do is look at inspirational posters. Yes, I am that person. But seriously, there are some really good ones out there right now! No shame. I found these ones on Etsy from dazeychic. Which one is better?

Everything is Amazing, Nobody's Happy

Hey guys! If you're online as much as I am, you've probably seen the video clip of Louis CK on Conan O'Brien, "Everything is Amazing, Nobody's Happy." I have to thank my awesome friend Clare for sending it my way. If you haven't, watch it now.

Louis CK is one of the funniest people on earth, and he totally rips us all a new one with this bit. It's also kind of a hilarious way to talk about mindfulness, really being conscious of what's going on around you and in your own mind. Along with my morning handful of SSRI's, mindfulness is something I use to fight depression; it helps.

This next video is an interview with Louis, talking about how he developed the bit and how things have changed even more since he first performed it. I'm way into stand-up comedy and how jokes get created and tinkered with, so I was riveted, but he also says a lot more about expectations vs. reality, and how we could all take a step back for just a second. Spot on!

The (My) Great Depression

Nerds! Just as I was getting all cozy and comfortable at my job, I get the axe! Such is temp life. Honestly, with all the relentless cutbacks at the company, it was a miracle that they let me stay as long as I did, and I am very grateful for that .The good side: I actually did a lot of real work during my time there, so my resume is vastly improved with new skills. The bad side: People were nice, and I need money!

However, time heals all wounds, and so does a classic screwball comedy! Here's one that fits the day perfectly. My Man Godfrey is the story of Godfrey, a "forgotten man," (read: homeless dude) ruined by the Depression and living in a dump, and how he comes to work for a prominent family as a butler.

There are so many snappy zingers and unforgettable character actors in this movie, I can't even begin to tell you. It's truly, timelessly hilarious. And, it's in the public domain, which means you can watch it online for free or buy a copy for $1 at Walgreens like I did.

Here's the preview, which contains zero zingers, but just a wee taste of the atmosphere (unlike modern previews, which always give away the best jokes!).

Onward and upward!

Peter sent me this comic while I was in SLO this weekend, delegating sewing tasks to all my elfin helpers there. It's so incredibly cute, and totally spot-on! Click the image for the rest of the comic to see what happens to little Cat Rackham (best name ever!) and enjoy the rest of Steve Wolfhard's work.

Sometimes life is easy, but your brain makes it hard. I'm always at a crossroads about what to share regarding my "battle with depression." (I kind of hate that term anyway. It's more like a long, drawn-out argument, with a little bit of yelling and a lot of whining, than an all-out battle.)

If I go on about my sad, sad feelings and my deep, dark days at length, that's no fun for anyone. Alternately, it's not something I feel I need to keep a secret. The last few months have not been super easy for me, as I find myself getting sucked down into a totally unpleasant and familiar pattern of living that has nothing to do with the real me, who, incidentally, is fun, hilarious, and has a whole lot of energy to make/do fun things.

Another fun and hilarious depressed person, Hugh Laurie, knew he needed some help when he found himself feeling bored while driving a racecar in in a charity demolition derby. Boredom," he said, "is not an appropriate response to exploding cars." I love this quote because it sounds absurd, but pretty much encapsulates the total WTF that is clinical depression.

Not only am I genetically predisposed to this lametarded condition from both sides of my family, I recently found a study that posits that female poets may be especially susceptible to depression.

In a more recent retrospective study of 1,629 writers, Kaufman found that poets--and in particular female poets --were more likely than fiction writers, nonfiction writers and playwrights to have signs of mental illness, such as suicide attempts or psychiatric hospitalizations.

In a second analysis of 520 eminent American women, he again found that poets were more likely to have mental illnesses and to experience personal tragedy than eminent journalists, visual artists, politicians and actresses--a finding Kaufman has dubbed "the Sylvia Plath effect" after the noted poet who had depression and eventually committed suicide.

Seriously? Come on, man! Why not baseball players, or hot dog vendors? This just doesn't seem fair. At least I bill myself as at least 5 other things besides "poet". But, even though the cards are clearly stacked against me, I'm working hard on getting out this this particular bout of the old sads. I'll let you know how it goes.

If you want to read more about the "Sylvia Plath effect," just Google it and you'll find a lot of interesting discussion about creativity and mental illness.

Meanwhile, I'm giving back my MFA in poetry. Well, I'll stop paying my student loans, at least. I think that might be the beginning of a healthy healing process. Yeah, that's the ticket.