It's been a crazy week! I'd like to think that by the end of it I will be pretty proud of myself for keeping it together. I'm at my parents' house right now celebrating my birthday (yesterday) and just sewed a bunsload of stuff for Renegade LA this weekend. I can't wait to see my friends, and also can't wait to meet some new friends who I've only known on the internetz thus far.
(This is a real peek into my awesome psyche and also explains how I had and paid for a 24 Hour Fitness membership for a full year without ever entering the building once, except to cancel said membership.)
I went swimming at Temescal Pool today. This was a huge deal for me, as I have talked/thought/obsessed about swimming there for the nearly four years I've lived in this hood, but my anxiety always had the upper hand. It is not easy for me to do new things. I really like swimming, though! I used to swim daily in San Luis Obispo, but the idea of a new and different pool was extremely daunting. I have been taking tiny steps to actually get in the pool since last year. I have had my swim pass since July 2010. I actually got up the nerve to put on my suit and go a few months ago, only to discover upon arrival that the pool was closed due to a government furlough.
However, today was the day. I checked the website to make sure the State of California wouldn't ambush me again. I swam for 30 minutes and now I feel like this:
People. I am getting serious about, as they say in all the books, "treating myself with compassion." I'm generally pretty hard on myself, and it hasn't worked out that well the last 31 years. Studies like this are starting to convince me that a meditation practice would be the thing to do; we'll see what happens there. I've tried before and it really did make a difference in how I looked at each day.
I seriously love these cuffs by Ponder and Stitch. I want to wear them like Wonder Woman. Do visual reminders like this help you, though? If I thought tattooing "RELAX" on my forehead would help, I would do it, but sometimes it's easy to ignore stuff like that.
Do you have any hot tips on how to be nice to yourself?
10.15.2010
I love Lynda Barry so much. She understands that it's hard to be a grown-up, an artist, and a functioning human being all the the same time. I would love to take one of her writing workshops, but there aren't any coming up in the near future. I might go see her talk tomorrow at the Alternative Press Expo; people like her also make me feel okay about getting older.
I'm a Susie Sad Eyes today. Actually, if there was a doll modeled after my look today, it would be called Polly Old Tired Eyes.
I noted to a co-worker who gave me the classic "You look tired" line (yes) that after a point, I'd rather wear no makeup than go crazy with the yellow concealer . That's how I'm rolling today.
7.20.2010
I guess I'm over my blog envy for the time being. I'm trying to be good! I'm also trying not to let my day job suck every last ounce of my energy; it can be exhausting and leave me little time to do anything creative in the evenings. I sewed some simple dishcloths last night and it made me feel so good! I also signed up for a 10-swim pass at Temescal Pool, which I've been wanting to do forever. I have slow swimmer anxiety (along with general life anxiety, obv.) and get really nervous about exercising in public, but I think I can do this. Deep breaths.
Hey, guys! It's been a crazy few weeks. And by crazy I mean AWESOME. I love my new job, which is a feeling so foreign to me that I don't really know what to do with it.
New topic.
A thing about me: I like stand-up comedy. Some may think that its heyday is over, but I like the structure and tradition of it. This may sound crazy, but I think stand-up is a lot like poetry in that a joke is just a distilled story that doesn't waste any time or words.
Plus, there are some seriously funny people out there right now. Maria Bamford is the best. She is smart, funny, has two fat pugs, and just seems like the kind of person I would like to hang out with, as she appears to be both laid-back and incredibly high-strung at the same time (cf: ME).
I also love anyone who can talk about mental illness without being a total self-absorbed downer, and Maria totally makes her experience with OCD and anxiety hilarious and relatable. I got her last album, Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome, for Christmas, and it is super solid. The following video contains most of the bits from the CD, plus some more. Yay!
As the people who have to deal with me on a daily basis can tell you, I've loosened up a lot over the years. But it still makes my blood boil when citizens break certain grocery-store related rules.
I was at Berkeley Bowl the other weekend, and I witnessed at least two people casually eating out of the bulk bins. I've always assumed it's common knowledge that one doesn't reach their filthy hand into the bin and chow down on some sesame sticks or what have you. But I've seen this too many times. I might be more forgiving if said snackers were clearly poor and in need of food. But these two were wearing very expensive shoes! And one of them wasn't just going in to sample; she returned repeatedly to the SAME BIN.
I wish I could summon up this kind of outrage for things that really matter, but I am wired to be a petty freak. Next week: how I feel when people crack open their bag of un-paid-for potato chips in the line to pay. Because they're just that hungry!
Hey guys! As a kid, I thought that when I was a grown-up, I would be so happy because I'd have the freedom to buy as much "sugar cereal" as my little heart desired. And while I do eat my fair share of Lucky Charms (sometimes marshmallows first, oaty bits second), sometimes I hate the responsibilities and hardships that every adult has to face. More on this at a later date.
On another, totally different note, I found this great ring by RecycledRings on Etsy that looks just like a billy ball (craspedia)! It's a little pricey, but pretty darn amazing.
Things got crazy! Things always get crazy, if they aren't already crazy, and this occurrence is especially common around the holidays. And often, things are not as they seem. Even I, the biggest Christmas fan in these United States, get cranky sometimes.
A few short moments after this idyllic photo was taken, I made some cruel remark to my mother across the table and shattered a lovely holiday brunch! Christmas stress is a bitch and it affects everyone, even in a seemingly safe zone like the Madonna Inn Cafe. So today I say, let's all take a deep breath, relax, and try not to lash out at your loved ones. Ten days 'til Christmas!
I noted to a co-worker who gave me the classic "You look tired" line (yes) that after a point, I'd rather wear no makeup than go crazy with the yellow concealer . That's how I'm rolling today.