I love Brandon Bird's art. It appeals to me in every way. Someday when I am rich I will buy one of his big pieces, but for now, a look at his website is satisfying enough. Happy Valentine's to everyone!

drawing by Mike Conway

As I sit here quietly drinking coffee and eating spoonfuls of Nutella out of a teacup, it seems mad to think that a month ago I was scurrying around like a chicken with her head cut off. I guess that's the difference between December and January. Therefore, I'm finally put together enough to share these highlights from a hectic December.

Sometimes your nail polish perfectly complements that of your bff's. Such was the case at this Big Sky Cafe brunch.

Amazing wrapping job by the amazing Erin; the rest of our family had issues this year, so we mostly threw presents into old Starbucks handlebags and haphazardly crumpled some tissue paper. Erin really stepped up to the plate; thank goodness!

A super-cool non-Starbucks gift bag from my mom; perhaps I exaggerated before.

Bathroom wallpaper at the Verdi Club in SF, where I did the Noise Pop Holiday Shop. I'd never taken a photo while sitting on the toilet before, but there's a first time for everything.

I got to hit Miette for one delicious moment. Magical!

My purses adorning the bookshelf at ISSUES during my pop-up shop! We had a great time on a rainy December night; I'm so lucky to live practially next door to a place that is so deeply awesome. They work hard to make this neighborhood more than a yuppie paradise by promoting really cool community-building events and by selling the finest selection of reading materials.

The lovely ladies of Fat Bottom Bakery! Not only are they adorably clothed, but their vegan baked goods are fantastic. I inhaled a wee Red Velvet cupcake, and it was divine.

My neighbor returned from his cross-country holiday vacation the other day, and said, "I hope my astral body catches up with me soon." I secretly laughed at the hippie jargon, but I know what he meant. I think a part of me is still in December.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ooops! Time flies when you're having "fun!" I truly don't understand what happens to the passage of time once the weather turns cold, but all of a sudden Christmas is over and it's the crazy robotic future times of 2010!

I'm starting off this magical year with the Pollyanna post-holiday classic, an oozing coldsore that appeared once the clock struck midnight, but I'm not letting that deter my excitement for what the next few months have to offer. Luckily, I don't have to show my hideous face to the general public because I'm back to working at home! I'll be taking a short break from corporate drudgery while I prepare for a major new project that I hope will blow your mind as much as it's blown mine. Keep your ears open!

Since I won't be sitting in a cubicle reading about the varying types of conjoined twins or the Reverend Sun Myung Moon (thanks, Wikipedia, for all the entertainment during the past few months), I'll have a few more hours free to get down to PC business. That means more time for blogging, picture-taking, and making, making, making!

Christmas Comes But Once a Year

This is the week I invariably start falling apart during the holidays; I just can't seem to get things done and enjoy the wintery wonderland simultaneously! But I just watched this cartoon and it helped a lot.

Basically, this guy named Grampy rolls up to a sad little orphanage and turns into a hardcore Christmas machine! If he can do it, so can I.

BORING!

I've been a bit remiss in sharing my holiday joy this year; but don't fret. I still have some magic up my sleeve for you. Let me begin with this. When I drove home from my parents' house after Thanksgiving, I listened to Christmas music on the radio almost the whole way, except for the patches where I could only get Art Bell or Spanish-language talk radio. I was enjoying the usual jingle jams, and then I heard something that confused me big time.

It was beloved opera star Andrea Bocelli, singing a slow-ass version of Jingle Bells. Like, really slow. "Jeeeengeeeel beeeells, geeeenegelle beelles, jeeeengelle all ze waaaaaay..." I thought, "is this a joke? No one sings 'Jingle Bells' as a romantic ballad." But there he was, drawing out each syllable in his lovely Italian accent. Simply put, It was AWFUL! Then, to confuse me even more, the MUPPETS started singing along with the chorus! But it was still totally subdued and serious. What a miserable incongruous pairing! Why did John Denver have to die? My brain exploded, and I was forced to refocus on theharrowing task of driving.

Fast forward to tonight, when I was hunting down humorous holiday videos for you all. I found this, which is actually very, very charming and sweet, and explains a lot. Why did they take all the good stuff out of the radio edit? Fools.

Merry Christmas!

Dearest friends,

I hope you've had a lovely holiday season. I know I have. As usual, I didn't get around to doing all the things I had planned (like updating this blog every darn day!), but the wonderful hours I've been able to spend relaxing with my family have been absolutely worth it.

Depending on your mood, you can watch young Judy singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" from the lush, delightful, and surprisingly hilarious film Meet Me in St. Louis, or older Judy singing the same tune from her Christmas special many years later. Both versions are pretty touching, if you like that kind of thing. Merry Christmas!

Postcards From the Edge...I mean, SLO.

Dear Readers,

Things got crazy! Things always get crazy, if they aren't already crazy, and this occurrence is especially common around the holidays. And often, things are not as they seem. Even I, the biggest Christmas fan in these United States, get cranky sometimes.

A few short moments after this idyllic photo was taken, I made some cruel remark to my mother across the table and shattered a lovely holiday brunch! Christmas stress is a bitch and it affects everyone, even in a seemingly safe zone like the Madonna Inn Cafe. So today I say, let's all take a deep breath, relax, and try not to lash out at your loved ones. Ten days 'til Christmas!

Dec 6-7: Making Up For Lost Time

I'm back! My goodness, I was busy this weekend! Yesterday I made some Christmas money at the CCA Holiday Fair, which is actually money to help our little family squeak by until 2009 without real jobs. I had a great time; it's really fun selling directly to my target audience of 16-24 year-olds. They really like my stuff and I get a big ego boost out of it. 

But enough with this chatter. This Christmas song I found may beat Slade in the awesomest, weirdest, spookiest categories. Again I plumbed the holiday depths of the UK to find this for y'all. Without further ado, I present to you Wizzard, performing "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Eery Day." Enjoy!

Poll-i-day Christmas Blog, Day One!

Longtime readers of this blog may already know how I feel about Christmas. For anyone who's still in the dark, let me make it clear: I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I love gingerbread, wreaths, egg nog, twinkle lights, fireplaces, the pre-Jim Carrey Grinch, holly, and cats/dogs/bunnies wearing Santa hats. Every day, for the month of December, I'll be posting holiday projects, photos, craft tutorials, stories, recipes, and the most wonderfully unsettling old-timey-videos I can find.

I'll also address how to celebrate fully while on a serious budget, including making your own gifts, buying handmade, making your house smell great even if it's too tiny to hold a fresh tree, and dealing with the always unexpected but ever-present holiday stress.

Amazingly, the Poll-i-day Christmas Blog already has a spinoff! Beloved friend Squidhelmet needs your vote so that the world will finally, officially know The Worst Rendition of Baby, It's Cold Outside.

The photo above is from my old lobby when I lived in the Rena Villa during the Christmas of 2004. Helen, my elderly, chain-smoking landlady, reigns supreme as the most Christmas-obsessed person I've ever encountered. There was a special secret storage room in the building filled to the brim with decorations, which she tirelessly used to create a kitsch wonderland.

I once stumbled home drunk at 3 AM, and upon shoving my key in the front door, discovered Helen, a cigarette hanging from her lip, stringing twinkle lights around each staircase post. This level of dedication is something I'll be striving for in the weeks to come.