I don't think I was born with a sense of kitsch, but then why do I have such good memories of the original Nut Tree?


The Nut Tree was an amazing outpost of glorious American culture in Vacaville, CA, about two hours north of San Francisco. Travelers from the Bay Area would stop there on their way to Sacramento for a bite to eat and to hang out on the grounds before getting back into a cramped car. My family stopped there a few times on our yearly summer camping trips in the 80's. I remember a lot of dried fruit being for sale in the shoppe above.

But the main thing that sticks in my mind about the Nut Tree is that they had my very favorite cookies, these delicious honey-spice flat treats coated with a hard frosting and shaped like animals and cartoon characters. (You can find these at grocery stores sometimes, but they are nameless and impossible to ask for! My mom always gets me one when she sees them. I love her.)

I think we ate in the restaurant at least once. Thank goodness, because alas, all this California-style magic no longer exists. I guess the audience for honey cookies and train rides began to have other interests, as the old grounds of the Nut Tree are now home to a BevMo! and Best Buy, among other lame box stores. I feel lucky to have these colorful memories floating around in my head.

People Make Weird Choices

I've been really good lately at taking chances on new movies instead of just watching Season 3 of The Office for the 500th time. I chose the 2007 documentary Crazy Love because it was on Netflix's list of Oakland favorites, and I thought I should see why the rest of the city liked it so much.

Crazy Love is the story of Burt Pugach, who hires thugs to throw lye into his ex-girlfriend's Linda's eyes after she jilts him. She goes blind, he goes to jail, and 17 years later, they get married. It's a really sad, fucked-up story told in sort of an offhand, jovial way, which I found interesting. The tone really differs from the subject matter; kind of like, "Hey, look at these two goofballs," as opposed to something much darker.



I do love character studies, though, and while it's clear that Pugach is a sociopath, Linda was a little harder to figure out. This was a great sewing movie because like most documentaries, it didn't have much action, just lots of talking. Recommended if you want to feel weird for the rest of the day. Do not watch on Valentine's Day.

I decided to go out on a limb and watch a movie I've never heard of before this afternoon. Bunny Lake is Missing is, well, about a kid who goes missing/may not have ever existed. It's a whole genre now, but I think this was one of the first ones.

It was a little campy and not that suspenseful, but fun, and I always like looking into the weird blank eyes of Keir Dullea (you may know him better as the weird blank-eyed astronaut in 2001--"Open the pod bay doors, Hal"). One of the oddest parts of the movie was the occasional incongruous appearance of The Zombies, being adorable on a television screen and singing their jangly hits. I can't tell if it shattered the attempted dark mood of the film or just made it awesomer.

I'm also super jazzed because I found a book for $1.00, Common Culture: Reading and Writing about American Pop Culture, which are two of my favorite things to do. I'll be starting a heavy-sounding new day job soon, so I gotta cram all these enjoyable activities in while I still have the time.

I am Larry David.

As the people who have to deal with me on a daily basis can tell you, I've loosened up a lot over the years. But it still makes my blood boil when citizens break certain grocery-store related rules.

I was at Berkeley Bowl the other weekend, and I witnessed at least two people casually eating out of the bulk bins. I've always assumed it's common knowledge that one doesn't reach their filthy hand into the bin and chow down on some sesame sticks or what have you. But I've seen this too many times. I might be more forgiving if said snackers were clearly poor and in need of food. But these two were wearing very expensive shoes! And one of them wasn't just going in to sample; she returned repeatedly to the SAME BIN.

I wish I could summon up this kind of outrage for things that really matter, but I am wired to be a petty freak. Next week: how I feel when people crack open their bag of un-paid-for potato chips in the line to pay. Because they're just that hungry!

Dare I say it: OMGOMGOMG!

Spicy Labels // ReadyMade Blog, originally uploaded by giant dwarf.

Hey, friends! Some big news: I have a fancy new gig: craft blogger over at Readymade.com! I am so insanely excited about this. I'll be putting a lot of my crafty content over at Make Nice from now on, but I'll still be here doing what I do! Please stop by and let me know what you think--eeek!

This may be a surprise to most people, but I had never made a cupcake in my life before last night. How did this happen, you may ask? There are a few factors at play. Firstly, I'm not wild about cake. I much prefer a cookie, a pie, or a piece of candy. Secondly, it seemed like too much work. I haven't done much baking in the past few years.

But with 2010 feeling like a real fresh start (PS. I accidentally typed "shart" and cracked myself up before fixing it. Sigh.), the holiday gift of Chronicle Books' Cupcake Kit, the appearance of some cupcake pans in my kitchen, and a glorious month off, the time was finally right!

Yes, I used a boxed mix. Yes, I used pre-made frosting. But I'll be damned if my first cupcakes are not the greatest cupcakes ever! The little flowers came from Miette. So proud!

Old, but new to me....

Etsy Front Page 10/15/08 smugcat, originally uploaded by Etsy Front Pagers.

I like it when I get on the front page of Etsy and find out like 2 years later. Yay!

It's been five years since I left Portland. Although I don't regret moving for a minute, sometimes I really, really miss it. Conveniently, there's a beautiful song about missing Portland to listen to during these times.

drawing by Mike Conway

As I sit here quietly drinking coffee and eating spoonfuls of Nutella out of a teacup, it seems mad to think that a month ago I was scurrying around like a chicken with her head cut off. I guess that's the difference between December and January. Therefore, I'm finally put together enough to share these highlights from a hectic December.

Sometimes your nail polish perfectly complements that of your bff's. Such was the case at this Big Sky Cafe brunch.

Amazing wrapping job by the amazing Erin; the rest of our family had issues this year, so we mostly threw presents into old Starbucks handlebags and haphazardly crumpled some tissue paper. Erin really stepped up to the plate; thank goodness!

A super-cool non-Starbucks gift bag from my mom; perhaps I exaggerated before.

Bathroom wallpaper at the Verdi Club in SF, where I did the Noise Pop Holiday Shop. I'd never taken a photo while sitting on the toilet before, but there's a first time for everything.

I got to hit Miette for one delicious moment. Magical!

My purses adorning the bookshelf at ISSUES during my pop-up shop! We had a great time on a rainy December night; I'm so lucky to live practially next door to a place that is so deeply awesome. They work hard to make this neighborhood more than a yuppie paradise by promoting really cool community-building events and by selling the finest selection of reading materials.

The lovely ladies of Fat Bottom Bakery! Not only are they adorably clothed, but their vegan baked goods are fantastic. I inhaled a wee Red Velvet cupcake, and it was divine.

My neighbor returned from his cross-country holiday vacation the other day, and said, "I hope my astral body catches up with me soon." I secretly laughed at the hippie jargon, but I know what he meant. I think a part of me is still in December.

Renegade Craft Fair!

Reunited and it felt so good! It seems like eons ago since Sue and I worked together at our beloved Finnegan's Toys and Gifts. But we immediately got back into our tag-team shopgirl groove a few weekends ago when we shared a booth at Renegade Craft Fair in San Francisco.

We both sold like crazy and had the best time doing it.

It didn't hurt that this was Sue's first West Coast show, and the California crafterati was clamoring for her beauteous creations.

We used to stand like this behind a counter for eight hours a day drinking coffee and shooting the breeze! Man, it was great.

Our cozy corner of Fort Mason.

These two days were truly the highlight of my year; it's hard when your dearest friends are scattered around the globe, but it makes it that much more magical when you get to see them again.

Without sharing too many sordid details, I think the following video sums up the insane bureaucracy of my most recent temporary gig at a large corporation.



I had to make ten thousand phone calls just to find out if it was actually my last day at work today, because no one in the office seemed authorized to give me a solid answer. This kind of stuff drives me loco, man. But enough venting! Onward and upward, as usual.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ooops! Time flies when you're having "fun!" I truly don't understand what happens to the passage of time once the weather turns cold, but all of a sudden Christmas is over and it's the crazy robotic future times of 2010!

I'm starting off this magical year with the Pollyanna post-holiday classic, an oozing coldsore that appeared once the clock struck midnight, but I'm not letting that deter my excitement for what the next few months have to offer. Luckily, I don't have to show my hideous face to the general public because I'm back to working at home! I'll be taking a short break from corporate drudgery while I prepare for a major new project that I hope will blow your mind as much as it's blown mine. Keep your ears open!

Since I won't be sitting in a cubicle reading about the varying types of conjoined twins or the Reverend Sun Myung Moon (thanks, Wikipedia, for all the entertainment during the past few months), I'll have a few more hours free to get down to PC business. That means more time for blogging, picture-taking, and making, making, making!

Christmas Comes But Once a Year

This is the week I invariably start falling apart during the holidays; I just can't seem to get things done and enjoy the wintery wonderland simultaneously! But I just watched this cartoon and it helped a lot.

Basically, this guy named Grampy rolls up to a sad little orphanage and turns into a hardcore Christmas machine! If he can do it, so can I.

BORING!

I've been a bit remiss in sharing my holiday joy this year; but don't fret. I still have some magic up my sleeve for you. Let me begin with this. When I drove home from my parents' house after Thanksgiving, I listened to Christmas music on the radio almost the whole way, except for the patches where I could only get Art Bell or Spanish-language talk radio. I was enjoying the usual jingle jams, and then I heard something that confused me big time.

It was beloved opera star Andrea Bocelli, singing a slow-ass version of Jingle Bells. Like, really slow. "Jeeeengeeeel beeeells, geeeenegelle beelles, jeeeengelle all ze waaaaaay..." I thought, "is this a joke? No one sings 'Jingle Bells' as a romantic ballad." But there he was, drawing out each syllable in his lovely Italian accent. Simply put, It was AWFUL! Then, to confuse me even more, the MUPPETS started singing along with the chorus! But it was still totally subdued and serious. What a miserable incongruous pairing! Why did John Denver have to die? My brain exploded, and I was forced to refocus on theharrowing task of driving.

Fast forward to tonight, when I was hunting down humorous holiday videos for you all. I found this, which is actually very, very charming and sweet, and explains a lot. Why did they take all the good stuff out of the radio edit? Fools.

Oh, hi there! I've been amiss in my blogging duties, and in many other duties, because I am lazy, but also because I've been enjoying the pleasures and non-pleasures that can't always be blogged adequately: day job drudgery, Thanksgiving with beloved family, the speedy passage of time. However, some things can be blogged, and the Madonna Inn is one of them. Here are some of the moments from a day I'd been waiting for my whole life.

Bar times.

Chandelier.

Me and my mama.

The Copper Cafe.

The happy couple.

A special guest.

A room with a view.

Dinner.

After dinner.

Travelin' light.

Miss Blythe.

Rock shower? Not slimy as expected.

Is that Jeff Goldblum?

Satisfaction.

Must Have...Constant Stream of Movies...

Dear Internet,

Can you help me? I'm afraid I've watched all the movies on Netflix Watch Instantly except for Farts of Darkness, Blood Hook, and Bush Doctor. I have so much sewing to do, and I demand adequate entertainments.

If you don't know my taste, I'll have you know that aside from a few solid zingers, I didn't really love To Be or Not to Be, which I watched Friday night. I liked it okay, but I got a bit bored with the antics. It might have been the fault of Jack Benny, who I find obnox, or my too-high expectations of a Lubitsch film, because it certainly wasn't lovely Carole Lombard. She can do no wrong!

I would recommend everyone see this movie because of how totally insane it was to release this balls-out Nazi satire while WWII was still happening. I mean, just over-the-top, a-la-South Park. It's no surprise that people freaked out at the time, not to mention the fact that Lombard died just before it came out. If you want some kooky Hitler humor and already own The Producers, give it a try.

Until advised on further media consumption, I will be watching all of Law & Order SVU Season 10, and that is not good for my delicate sensibilities. Please respond promptly!

Sincerely,
PC

Brevity...

Take 3:45 minutes and listen to one of my favorite songs.

It always does me good, and I dare say it will do the same for you. "Cucurucuru Paloma," by Caetano Veloso, from the 2002 Almodovar film Talk to Her.

Conway attack!, originally uploaded by pollyannacowgirl.

Madonna Inn pictures and tales, coming soon. In other news, the free Dr. Pepper stand was on the scene at Embarcadero BART today. Its existence keeps me motivated to face each new day.

Romance

I've always wanted to spend the night at the Madonna Inn. Since I learned how to want things, I have wanted this. However, it's hard to justify staying in a hotel in the town you live/lived in, and where your parents still live.

That said, I never promised that I wouldn't accept frivolous gifts in exchange for donating my kidney. My mother has generously set up a magical evening for me in the Romance Room this Saturday night for our two-year "kidney anniversary", and I can't wait.

I'm bringing a whole pile of costumes and props for a photo shoot, if I am still standing after a day of poolside champagne and kitsch overload (if there was such a thing).

Put the Lotion in the Basket...

I've been off having adventures, sleeping, and acclimating to my new job, which is located in San Francisco's most prominent open-air shopping center and office park. It's a weird environment; everywhere I go, there's something to buy! Shoes, coffee, lotion, chocolates, clothes, spatulas...it's all there, and it's all in my face. I'm considering not bringing any money to work so I don't have to deal with the temptation any more. I realized, though, that I'll never need to buy hand lotion again if I rotate using samples at the five beauty stores within a one-block radius. Sweet Jesus!

The best thing about working in a mall is the music piped in from the sky. Usually it's some pleasant piano, but this week they started playing "spooky music" for Halloween. It's a pretty creative mix; instead of just "Monster Mash" over and over again, they're really stretching it. On my break, I heard ELO's "Evil Woman," and as I left work, I heard one of my super-favorite jams, "Season of the Witch" by Donovan. It's a weirdly sexy song that's been rightly covered by tons of bands, and I present it to you now accompanied by a witchy scene from George Romero's film of the same name.